Yes, that's right. The Goldman Sachs we all know and love returns to the table with new creative energy. Death Bonds. Too cool. They have now figured out a way to steal the last financial legacy of a humans existence. Life insurance. This opens up a vast expanse of possibilities in the derivatives market:
Steroid Bonds: the combined fines of pro athletes caught juicing.
Toyo Bond: based on the actual confirmed number of sudden acceleration deaths which impact Toyota owners in temperate zones of the continental US not occurring in ultra-dense habitation zones, prior to the creation of a zero sum agreement between Toyota USA and such federal regulators as wish a future of seven digit compensation remits. The requisite hollow, meaningless, tongue in cheek apology will not impact Bond Value beyond the minimum VaR determined by The Market on a Normalized Mark It Up Your Ass accounting basis. (NMIUYA acounting has been the industry standard since those lazy, good for nothing, working slobs discovered Prozac and quit paying their bills.) This product is representative of the industry standard in complex, rationally designed, investment vehicles. (Product core value could go to zero due to successful evasion and prevarication by Toyota USA, product volatility could exceed certain clients risk appetite).
Oil Bath Band: Notional value will be equal to the difference between what BP, in a non-market, structured economy, would be liable for; and the actual costs associated with cleaning a minor oil spill in a market economy. (Short Caution: Notional value could go to infinity.)
Big C Bond: Very similar to a death bond. After purchasing cancer riders from certain high risk individuals, the notional value shall be deemed to be the difference between the cost of medically standard treatment, which after purchase of the riders becomes internalized to the fund on the asset side due to non-treatment. This market allows health care providers the opportunity to enhance profits by purchasing upper (Aaa) tranche positions while warehousing and monetizing underutilized assets, i.e. physical plants, high tech diagnostic equipment, transport, employee retirement funds, etc.
Check out Death To Deathbonds and send Sir Lloyd Blanklook a drop dead message.
Sally Kohn in the Jaws Of the Monster: